Post by alex on Aug 2, 2006 19:39:01 GMT -5
Here I am, probably posting here for the last time. I'm fuckin tired of everything. I just can't stand it anymore. I'm here, laid in an hospital bed (and I'm feeling fuckin okay) because of something I supposedly did and I don't even remember. Supposedly, I jumped off a bridge over a car, but I don't remember doing that. Anyway, that's not the point. If I could get my ass out of here I'd do it over and over again until I got fuckin killed by a car. In fact, I would fuckin shot me if I had the gun. I'd kill me a thousand times, cause I just wasn't even meant to be born.
Today I realized that it doesn't matter how much I care about someone, I can't stop hurting them. I can be so fuckin stupid sometimes. My girlfriend, who I love a lot, broke up with me cause I wasn't smart enough to stop being an asshole with her. I told her I didn't care about her stupid whining over things I didn't care, and it obviously hurt her a lot cause she was telling me all the shit she was going through with her family and stuff. So there goes smart Alex, hurting and losing. It always happens, when I finally get someone that trusts me I somehow manage to disappoint them, to fuck it all up. See? I shouldn't be alive. I'm fuckin sick, I'm bad from the inside. I just know how to fuck things up, not to fix them. I can't fix shit, just mess it up. Like some fanfic character Berni wrote... maybe I was just born to destroy.
Not so long ago a friend was telling me about all her problems, and like always, I fucked it all up telling her something like that she was stubborn cause it didn't matter how much I told her something she would still say the same thing over and over again, and that I didn't care anymore. Brilliant boy. I bet she was all hurt cause she left saying no one cared about her. And it's not the first time I tell her or someone else something hurting. It keeps on happening. Why, why? I don't fuckin know, and sincerely, I don't wanna find out, I don't wanna find something I may not like. I'm just fucked up in the mind, and I know I'll do a favor to the world by doing what I want to right now.
So this is basically for saying thanks... for everything you've done for me if you had. I know I didn't deserve anything good, but some of you have been freakin good with me and I'm thankful with you. Too sad probably you never got something from me besides bad things. I'm leaving cause I care a lot about you, and you'll be better off without me. Bye, nice to meet you all.
Today I realized that it doesn't matter how much I care about someone, I can't stop hurting them. I can be so fuckin stupid sometimes. My girlfriend, who I love a lot, broke up with me cause I wasn't smart enough to stop being an asshole with her. I told her I didn't care about her stupid whining over things I didn't care, and it obviously hurt her a lot cause she was telling me all the shit she was going through with her family and stuff. So there goes smart Alex, hurting and losing. It always happens, when I finally get someone that trusts me I somehow manage to disappoint them, to fuck it all up. See? I shouldn't be alive. I'm fuckin sick, I'm bad from the inside. I just know how to fuck things up, not to fix them. I can't fix shit, just mess it up. Like some fanfic character Berni wrote... maybe I was just born to destroy.
Not so long ago a friend was telling me about all her problems, and like always, I fucked it all up telling her something like that she was stubborn cause it didn't matter how much I told her something she would still say the same thing over and over again, and that I didn't care anymore. Brilliant boy. I bet she was all hurt cause she left saying no one cared about her. And it's not the first time I tell her or someone else something hurting. It keeps on happening. Why, why? I don't fuckin know, and sincerely, I don't wanna find out, I don't wanna find something I may not like. I'm just fucked up in the mind, and I know I'll do a favor to the world by doing what I want to right now.
So this is basically for saying thanks... for everything you've done for me if you had. I know I didn't deserve anything good, but some of you have been freakin good with me and I'm thankful with you. Too sad probably you never got something from me besides bad things. I'm leaving cause I care a lot about you, and you'll be better off without me. Bye, nice to meet you all.
'Cause like...duh. 
